I am not sure why this happens to me every Mother’s Day, but I feel the blues coming on.
I still have so much spiritual healing to work on due to trauma during my birth experience and staying in the NICU for almost 6 months. I share this because I know I am not alone in how I feel about Mother’s Day. I would love to say I look forward to it but I do not.
As a single mom, I often feel unseen and unheard by family members and my son’s father. Conversations, activities, parties, phone calls, and gifts are always about my child. And I feel guilty for even wanting a day all about me because I chose Astin. I chose Astin, so I often feel like my invisible load can only be carried by me alone. Last year, I was so depressed on Mother’s day, that I went to brunch with Astin and a friend. And I also went to Target (my favorite place ), it was cold, we were in an uber. I thought it would cheer me up but it made things worse because the store was filled with dads and kids.
I know that no one can read my mind but I felt so unappreciated for all my hard work as a mom. I know Astin is so very young and I am so grateful for my friends who sent flowers and gifts. I was just in this weird space, where I expected a gift or free babysitting day from his dad but instead, it was a weird text message about me choosing to be a single mom and just extra stuff that he could keep. He could have kept the entire message honestly and just sent some coins. And when I mentioned it to him, he said he did not know he was supposed to buy me a gift. And I realized he was right, no one is obligated to gift me something for what I am blessed to do every day.
This year I plan to get rid of the blues and lean into gratitude. I have booked brunch, a staycation in Washington, D.C., and an adventure for Astin and me.
Share in the comments what are you doing for yourself this Mother’s Day!
To Read more about Mother’s Day and how to make it special read the blogs below :
The Perfect Mother’s Day Cocktail
10 Thoughtful Mother’s Day Gift Ideas
Mother’s Day with a Sneak Peak
Sustainable Gifts for Mother’s Day